How do you like to be touched?
Tantra is about the acceptance and cultivation of pleasure and energy. But what, outside of our penis or vagina, gives us physical pleasure? One way to explore is to draw a bath, or shower and take time for yourself. It doesn’t have to be long, 15 minutes luxurious me time would do it. Close your eyes and breathe. Begin to explore your whole body with your fingertips, the soap, the loofer or whatever you fancy. Feel what is happening. Play with pressure and texture, light to hard, smooth and silky to rough. Fully experience any sensations as they arise and as they differ, practice and enjoy as often as you like. Feel your body come alive under the touch and notice too what and where feels pleasurable, what touch works and what touch doesn’t.
Does your lover know how you like to be touched? Never assume that your lover, new or old, automatically knows what and how you like to be touched. The key is effective communication, let your lover know when they are doing something right: oohs, ahhs, yeses and as giver listen to the sounds, be guided by your lover.
Try this simple exercise to enable you as a receiver to communicate without words how you like to be touched: Place your hand on your partner’s arm and ask your partner to place their hand on you. Move your hand on your partner in the way you like to be touched and ask your partner to follow. It builds trust, cultivates harmony and surrender, allows your partner to learn touch you in the way you like. Play with the sensations, speed, depth of touch and area of the body. Play together and have fun.
Begin the process of connecting to your body through conscious touch.