My life. My choices
Judgement is something that has plagued me for a lot of my life. For the most part being on the receiving end of others judgement of me through the choices I have made for my life. It is one of those things that I keep thinking I have worked through, only to get rudely slapped like a wet fish with yet another person judging me and allowing myself to feel it. A few weeks ago, it was a double whammy in that not only did I find myself the subject of some very public, distasteful (and incorrect) judgement*, it happened at a time when I was judging myself. Talk about kicking a man when he is down. It hit me pretty hard. Almost to the point of me walking away from something I love and believe in; the 'work' that I do. This beautiful life looks after me though, and while I was feeling the hurt, I began to receive messages from those I have worked with and people that have read my blogs, simply saying thank you for touching their lives in some way.
What is it that drives us to judge another persons life or their choices? What makes us so hyper critical of anyone living a life that differs to our own? And we are all guilty of this to some degree. It's a part of human nature. But it is not useful to us and creates division rather than understanding and harmony.
More so, why are we so harsh on ourselves in either judging ourselves or feeling the hurt when on the receiving end. If we feel slighted because of another's viewpoint of us, more often than not, it is because we have been judging ourselves. If not, their remarks wouldn't bother us at all. It is almost like this vicious cycle. When we are in the flow & happy, things go great. When we don't live up to our own expectations, then we begin to judge ourselves. And then judge the judgement. Argh. And that is when we become sensitive to others opinions even when we know there is no root to them. Self judgement is the root to a lot of unhappiness within our lives. It takes us away from love and unconditional self acceptance. When we love & self acceptance is within our core, our own actions doesn't shake our happiness, never mind the actions of others.
Start becoming aware when you feel judgement coming up (towards yourself or another). Feel it - it is just a thought, nothing solid or concrete, and pushing it away only makes it hang around longer, and then let it go. If you have to keep letting go a hundred times, that is ok. It may be back for the 101st, or it may simply be gone. Judgement is just a story; there is no logic, simply a reaction. See where it is coming from and do no harm - either to yourself or someone else.
An aspect of Tantra is to live from that core of who we are, full of love and self acceptance. It aims to open us up; opening to every possibility and acceptance of everything and gives us the freedom to be ourselves, uncensored and unashamed. I stand up and own everything I am.
* While my name was the subject in this public domain, the judging comments were made by those who have never met me in any way and were more directed at Tantra as a whole than at me.
Addendum. Thank you to so many of you that have send me mails, texts or phoned me in response to this blog, thanking me for the difference I have made in your lives. You have touched this girls heart,