Curiosity and Conscious Choices
I haven't lived a boring life. I suppose, by the nature of what I do, that is obvious. But there is more to that statement than my work in Tantra. I have travelled a lot. Moved to different countries - many a time. And have had a few deep relationships. And in those travels and relationships, I have made choices that many on the outside looking in, have not understood. My choices may not have been healthy to many, but they were choices that I was consciously making at the time. Whether that be giving up everything, and I mean everything, to go live and volunteer in India or whether it was staying in a relationship that was not honouring me at the time. I was aware of what I was doing and I was aware it was my, and my choice alone. (And I knew when it was right for me to choose to leave that relationship)
When we acknowledge that we are responsible for our choices, we find a freedom in those choices. We are all free to choose whatever we desire. You may say 'But, I am not, I cannot travel the world and just leave my family.' Well, you can. You can choose not to, but you could if you wanted to. When you see that you are choosing to accept responsibility for staying with your family as opposed to choosing to simply leaving them, you release the grip of being tied to something you feel you don't want. It becomes a conscious choice. Something you have chosen to do. In each breath, in each moment, you have the freedom to choose differently. Make sense?
Have you ever had that feeling that you were drifting through life, not knowing where you were going or even wanted to go? Or finding yourself wondering how you got to where you are today? When you become curious about life, living in awareness, you begin to take more control of your life. We begin making choices that will give you the life you want rather than settling for the one that befalls you. We have all made some poor choices, and the poorest of choices carry dire consequences. Many times we make poor choices aimed at providing a quick fix for a temporary inconvenience which may have long term negative consequences.. But when you accept responsibility, you are making a conscious choice and in that, there is control, power and freedom.
No apologies. No excuses. No one to lean on, or blame. You choose and decide how you want to live your life. It is a gift no one can take from you. Life is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for yours. You are of course, responsible for any actions or reactions from your choices. Making conscious choices is not a one way ticket to a prefect, fairytale life; we are not delusional, it is simply a route to base our decisions on a full understand of reality (as opposed to ignorance or fear based motivations).
Are you happy in your relationship? There are many people who are not, but still choose to stay in the relationship. The people we love are the most important part of our lives. You can choose to stay in a relationship and you can also choose to accept responsibility for changing it. So look at the relationship. Know that it is your choice to stay and look at ways it could improve. Could you choose to spend more time with them? Is there a way you could show your appreciation for them? Do you need to forgive or apologise about anything? Communication that can be improved? What needs to be better? What action can you take now that will improve your relationship? Too often in life, something happens, a relationship goes sour, and we blame other people for us not being happy or satisfied or fulfilled. We all have choices, and we can make a conscious choice to accept a person or situation or not. Wayne Dyer said 'Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.'
Wherever you are right now, know it is your choice. Your thoughts, your words, affect your reality. They are your choice. Your actions will have a reaction. They are your choice. Make them consciously.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.
Karen O'Moore October 2014