We have a wonderful word in South Africa - 'Hoesa' (pronounced hoos-ah) and it simply means, let it go, everything will be alright, no worries. And the simple truth is, that until you do let go, letting go of how you think it needs to be, letting go of guilt or fear, letting go of the anger or the frustration, you cannot move forward. To be immersed in deep love, of ourselves, others and of life, we must first learn how to let go.
Life is full of endless possibilities, it is overflowing with new beginnings, but if your life is filled with old thoughts, guilt, expectations etc, there is no space for it to flow. We need to empty out to make way for the new. For us to hear the gentle whispers of our soul, to hear the song of our heart, to live a more meaningful life, we first need to free ourselves from the emotional turbulence of our minds and the patterns that bind us. It is in the emptying, the opening up, that we begin to be truly free and find our path. I love the way a close friend puts it ' The other type of letting go is like getting out of own way so the joy and love inside me can flow freely'.
Letting go of anything in life can be a little scary, and letting go of the person you think you should be in order to be the person you really want to be, can be the most challenging of all, but it is an amazing act of self love. Letting go of something that is deeply ingrained in our minds for years is hard. I know for myself, although I let go of something, there are times when it seems to boomerang right back. But it's the journey that matters, isn't it?
Only the present exists. Whether we are having a memory of an event in the past, a hurt or disappointment, or are imagining the future. with fear or expectation, everything happens in the present. And this is where the healing begins, the letting go of old wounds and future expected failures. When we become present, it is as though we undergo a massive cleaning out of the deepest part of our being. We simply let it go.
Here are a few things we can begin to let go of:
1. Let go of trying to control everything.
The only thing that we can truly control is our own attitude and reactions. Once we accept that, we can find happiness right where we are, irrespective of how things turn out. Remember, you don’t always need the perfect plan. Sometimes you just need to give it a try, let go, and see what happens.
2. Let go of trying to please everyone.
Give as much as you can every day, but don’t allow yourself to be used. Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your own voice.
3. Let go of resentment.
Unless we walk in the shoes of the other, we really don’t know the reason for their behaviour. Carrying resentment only hurts us. Let go of anger toward ex lovers and family. We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesn't mean the love was wrong.
4. Let go of guilt.
If we are the ones who made a mistake, it is time to forgive ourselves and make amends. “I’m sorry. How can I fix it?” can go a long way in starting the healing process. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.
5. Let go of pride.
Neither apology nor forgiveness is possible without letting go of pride. Nor is there room for authentic connection where pride resides. Let it go.
6. Let go of perfectionism.
No one can be perfect all the time. That’s what makes us humans. We are quirky. We have flaws. We are beautiful just the way we are.
7. Let go of negativity.
In any given situation we have a choice—look at what’s good and be grateful, or look at what’s wrong and complain. Develop an attitude of gratitude.
8. Let go of negative people.
We are the average of the people we hang out with, and if they are negative, it becomes hard for us to maintain the attitude of gratitude.
9. Let go of the busyness.
Let go of the need to do more and be more. Somewhere along the way, many of us have bought into the notion that the busier we are and the more we achieve, the happier we will be.
10. Let go of the fear of failure.
Everybody who tries anything worthwhile fails at some point or the other. Failure does not mean we are broken. It simply means we are courageous to dare! You are not what has happened to you; you are what you choose to become in this moment. Drop the needless burden, take a deep breath and start again. Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself
11. Let go of the fear of abandonment.
Fundamentally, we all crave for connection. But when fear of abandonment starts to rule our lives we make very irrational choices. Trust that what is meant to be will happen. And no matter how things turn out, we’ll come out of it okay.
12. Let go of all the little white lies and charades.
How do you build credibility? It’s not rocket science. Be honest. Follow through. Honour your promises. Say sorry when you screw up. Be the type of person you want to meet and spend time with. Be the type of person whose actions, words and values always agree with each other.
13. Let go of comparison.
If the grass looks greener on the other side… Stop staring. Stop comparing. Stop complaining and start watering the grass you’re standing on.
14. Let go of fearing what your intuition is telling you to do.
Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will. So don’t let fear shut you down; let it wake you up. Do one thing every day that scares you. The more that you act on your intuition fearlessly, the more your intuition will serve you.
15. Let go of yesterday and tomorrow.
Let go of cheating on your future with your past. It's time to move on and tell a new story. How can we find true happiness if we are saddled down by the baggage of the past or fear of the future? Focus on this very moment. This breath, everything around you and suddenly everything becomes richer, deeper and you begin to see beauty in what was previously mundane. Is there a better way to find true happiness?
So, what will you let go of today?
Karen O'Moore