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  • Writer's pictureKaren O'Moore

Shhhh.. can you see me?

We communicate in so many ways. We naturally think of communication as talking, but we know it goes further than that in our actions, our body language and at times we communicate in the choice of our clothes. What happens when we move past all of that? Move past the words and the actions and just be still and see someone. Not just look at them, but see them. Eye gazing is a powerful non verbal way of communicating as it opens an energy connection between yourself and your partner. This can be challenging, but as with most things that are, the rewards are worth it.

You can either sit facing each other, back straight, spine relaxed or sitting in a cross legged position, with your partner (or the smaller of you) sitting on your thighs with their ankles behind your back. Either way, let there be some physically connection (even fingertips touching). Breathing deeply and slowly, through the nose, close your eyes and find a stillness in your mind and body. Open your eyes and let your gazes connect. (Keep your eyes relaxed, it is not a stare). Gaze lightly into each other’s eyes (select either the left or right & stay with that one), as you inhale and exhale through the nose. Take 5 breaths, allowing a natural synchronicity of breath. If you are sitting in each other's lap, let your palms rest on the back of your partner’s heart. Surrender to the intimate experience of both you and your partner’s heartbeat. Try this for 10 minutes.

Much can arise, thoughts bubbling to surface, fear of being judged and self-judging. Being open in this way can be challenging and initially, there may be the urge to break contact. However, by continuing to breathe, and gaze without judging, keeping it soft and gentle the mind quietens and by continuing to accept the gaze of the other while gazing oneself, a calmness and a depth of connection can form. It is that willingness to be open, to let someone in, in the knowledge that they are doing the same with your gaze, neither are judging the other, but simply accepting and respecting which allows you both to move beyond resistance, beyond the masks that have been worn and into a state of truly seeing and experiencing the other while seeing and experiencing themselves. In that state true intimacy naturally develops, flows and strengthens. It can take you out of yourself and into the other, to re-experience that connection and bond that has always existed but may have been buried. . It could be the best 10 minutes you have ever spent.

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